Love Spells and Ethics

Love Spells and Ethics: Stripping Past the Controversy

Ethics of Love Spells Image

Love spells cause a lot of controversy. At any given day in any given group, they’ll be an argument over what is okay.

When really, there needn’t be.

The basic rule of thumb that I use is: ‘Would I do this in a mundane way?’ Or, more accurately: ‘Would this constitute as abuse or other illegal behavior if I did it mundanely?’

Things That You Wouldn’t Do Normally

  • keep a lover when they wanted to leave
  • demand someone think of you all the time
  • demand all of your lover’s time
  • hurt them if they didn’t do what you wanted
  • force them to fall in love with you

Things That Are Cool

  • making yourself more beautiful
  • highlighting your best qualities
  • opening yourself up to love
  • asking for a partner


To put this into another context, it’s okay to do a money spell, but not okay to do a spell that allows you to rob another person.

A lot of the ‘darker’ love spells come from times when a woman’s next meal came from her ability to keep and please her husband, and she would be facing ruin, if not death, should her husband leave her.

We aren’t in those times now. Being single isn’t a problem that needs to be fixed. By all means, ask for a partner if that’s what you want, but asking is the key word here. Ask. Don’t demand.

My favourite love spell is simply writing down the characteristics of my ideal partner, and sleeping with that sheet of paper under my pillow for seven days.

What’s your favourite love spell? Let me know in the comments!

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Decluttering – How to Do It the Effective Way

How to (2)How to Declutter – The Effective Way

What is Clutter?

There are many decluttering posts around, but they don’t always answer this simple question.

Clutter is things we don’t need, and most likely don’t want. Clutter can be physical objects, but it can also be emotional baggage, spiritual nastiness and unwanted behavioural patterns.

The  best way to tackle decluttering and prevent the need from having to do it again, is to approach it holistically.

Questions to ask yourself

When you are throwing out an object, think about why you have it in the first place?.

Was it a gift that you think you can’t get rid of because of who gave it to you? Is it something that you’ve been meaning to mend, but never got around to, because you either have more important priorities or you just don’t know what your priorities are?

Are you accumulating rubbish because you can’t take the ten seconds to put in in the outside in because you’ve always got better things to do? (Guilty)

Are you hoarding things to fill up some sort of emotional gap?

When you tackle these emotions head on, rather than focusing on the objects, you’ll be able to release the emotional block, and be able to deal with decluttering easier. We have an emotional relationship with physical items, and it isn’t always easy to let go. A lot of decluttering guides forget that.

How much should I declutter?

However much feels right to you. I set my goal to get rid of 101 things, because that seems like a comfortable goal. I needed to clear a lot of space to fit my stock from my old shop into my room, and I have a lot of hobbies, which means a lot of stuff.

So, for me, crafter hoarder extraordinaire, 101 things is very reasonable.

If you are already very minimalist, 101 things might be difficult. If you’ve not thrown anything away in five years, 101 things might not even scratch the surface.

Start small. You can always go through things again, if you find you still haven’t enough space.

How do I Declutter?

By starting small.

And by small, I mean taking ten minutes a day to go through a single drawer or shelf. That might seems silly, but decluttering always takes way more time than you think. Taking things slow and small prevents you from sobbing into a pile of odd socks way past your bedtime.

Ten minutes a day.

It’s that simple. There’s no need to complicate it with checklists or to do lists or special manoeuvres. Get rid of stuff, think about why you had it in the first place, and set into motion healthier ways of dealing with that unwanted emotion.

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Grateful For the Dark

grateful-for-the-darkGrateful for the Dark – Using Shadow Energy

The dark is given a bad rap in today’s society. We’re so afraid of all it seems to represent – death, sleep, mystery, even rest. Today’s world is 24/7, and has no respect for endarkenment. No time to stop, no time to see, no time to think. Here are ten ways you can increase the power of the dark in your life – and why you should.


Are you tired (pun firmly intended) of hearing everyone and their mother banging on about how essential sleep is yet? Well, tough. Sleep is so undervalued, and yet is essential to our life. You’ll die from lack of sleep faster than you will from lack of food. Not getting at least eight hours is causing havoc to your health, in ways you’re not even aware of. Sleep aids cognition, digestion, stress levels, weight loss, emotional strength, muscle growth and much more.


If you aren’t dreaming, that’s an issue. I mean, everyone forgets dreams, but if you aren’t having even the flicker of an idea of one as you wake up, something’s not right. The quality of your sleep matters as much, if not more, than the length. Dreams are the mind’s way of talking to itself, shuffling through recent events, making sense of them and then filing them away. If that process is patchy or interrupted, your daily life can be deeply affected. Make sure you’re neither too hot or too cold, and try to minimize the noise that you can hear from your bed. Thicker curtains can help more than you think!


Rest doesn’t equal sleep. You need both in your life. Rest is different for most people – snuggling up to a story told on the big screen is just as good for you as reading it. There are as many mindless and vapid books as there are TV shows, they’re just a little harder to get hold of. Evaluate the quality of your rest – are you actually able to switch off from your problems and enjoy calming hobbies, like reading or listening to music? Are you falling asleep the moment your bum hits the sofa, or are you still thinking about work? If you’re finding it hard to rest, there’s a problem in your life that you need to fix. Less work and more sleep never hurt anybody.


At least once a month, make time for yourself to go outside and look up at the night’s sky. If you’re lucky enough to live places with less light pollution, feel free to do it as often as you can. That feeling that you get when you look up at the night’s sky? That’s vital to life. It’s part of being human. Cultivate that feeling as often as you can. Go to museums. Watch documentaries. Stand in nature and simply watch and listen.


Fear is another essential, and overlooked feeling in modern life. Stress, or fear is supposed to be short lived feeling – a spurt of powerful chemicals over a short period of time. It becomes toxic when you can’t relax, and you are constantly on alert – that’s stress. We become so stressed trying to avoid fear – fear of failing, fear of embarrassment, fear of poverty – that we forget that fear is good for us. Do something that frightens you as often as you can. Ride rollercoasters. Watch horror movies. Try a new sport. Whatever gives you an enjoyable blast of fear once in awhile, but leaves you feeling safe. I love rollercoasters, and live horror shows, but horror films frighten me too much and leave me anxious. Whatever works for you.


Humans are curious, and love mysteries. It’s why social media is so popular – we want to know everything about everyone. But, it’s good to leave your life mysterious. You shouldn’t give everything of yourself to anyone, never mind everyone. And I think we all agree that airing your dirty laundry online is not the thing to do.

Don’t try and fit yourself into a box. You are what you are – magical and mysterious. And the flip side of mystery, is going and finding it. Try new things. Solve puzzles. Research topics that fascinate you. Stay curious.


Dumbledore was wrong. Standing up to your friends is not the bravest or the hardest thing to do. Standing up to yourself is. One of the reasons we don’t stop to think today is that we’re frightened of what we might say to ourselves. Mental illness is rising faster than we can cope, and avoiding the dark is seriously unhelpful. Facing up to yourself and seeing yourself without rose-tinted spectacles or the comfy sweater of negative self talk is difficult.

But it’s necessary.


Humans are primates, not horses. We live in troupes or families, not packs or herds. We need time alone. Truly alone – Facebook actually counts as social interaction, don’t listen to anyone that says otherwise. We need time with ourselves, to cultivate our own interests, our own thoughts, our own feelings – and to rest, without fear of judgement and interruption.


All things have their time. Have you ever sat in the dark and watched the stars rise and set? Watched a fledgling learn to fly? Literally watched the grass grow? In the time of on-demand food and entertainment, it’s easy to forget that the world doesn’t work like that. Things take time. Learning new skills takes time. Becoming healthy takes time. Growing takes time.

Plans time take to plan, implement and execute. Learning to be patient, learning to know when to wait and when to go is a forgotten skill.


Do you know what you are when you have all these things in your life? Powerful. Strong. And if you don’t believe me, think about why corporations and Governments are taking these things from us. They are trying to instill a phobia of the dark in us, to prevent us from stepping into our power.

But they won’t win. Because they’ve already underestimated us. They’ve underestimated you. Your life is in your hands, not theirs. Step into the dark, and be reborn. Take your power back.



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Alternative Medicine: Finding my Way – Guest Blog

Alternative Medicine: Finding My Way

alternative medicine

Alternative Medicine and Conventional Medicine

My path to alternative medicine is unfortunately not an uncommon one.  You see, conventional doctors spend years in medical school and learn an astronomical amount of information. This is fantastic, because it keeps us safe and healthy in an abundance of ways.

However, many doctors are unable to expand their views when it comes to alternative medicine. They won’t even consider that there could be a root cause of disease that they are not aware of, or fathom that an herb can have exceptional healing powers.

This is what frustrates me because the world of medicine is ever changing. One day we hear coffee is good for us the next day it increases our risk for this and that. We are presented with new discoveries like this all the time. There are so many unknowns in the medical field. We have only scratched the surface. Alternative medicine has been gaining traction, but we still have a long way to go.

My Story With Alternative Medicine

My path from health to sickness then back again to health began ten years ago. At that time, I was twelve years old. I had never broken a bone, had any serious or rare illness or medical mysteries of any kind. I had never even had a headache or an ear infection (still haven’t to this day, fingers crossed!). Over the course of several months, seventh-grade me started showing symptoms that at the time I didn’t realize were connected. Joint pain, mouth, sores, weight loss, fatigue, and a host of gastrointestinal symptoms led to the eventual diagnosis of Crohn’s disease, a chronic autoimmune disease, to which there is no cure.

Crohn’s Disease

Crohn’s disease is a form of Inflammatory Bowel Disease, with Ulcerative colitis being the other form and slightly different. My doctors did not believe that diet had much, if any impact on my symptoms. Food doesn’t have anything to do with a digestive disorder? My parents, being my advocates were skeptical, but without knowing what else to do I followed the diet (bland, white bleached grains, etc.) and I took the medication I was prescribed. I had no choice but to be hospitalized two more times just over a year after my diagnosis because my symptoms were out of control. We were contemplating surgery when we finally struck luck.

Treating Crohn’s Disease with Alternative Medicine

I managed to get an appointment with a highly regarded Orthomolecular Physicist. My first appointment was several hours long and I left with a brand new lifestyle ahead of me. He showed me how many foods I was eating were adding to the inflammation and showing up as my symptoms, preventing me to start healing. My new diet sounded impossible, especially as a thirteen-year-old! I eliminated gluten, dairy, refined sugar, corn, soy, and more foods. It sounded crazy to me, but it worked.


I gained back weight and started feeling better. To this day I still see this physician. I retest for foods at my appointments and sometimes I get them back. Those are exciting days! While food has a huge impact on my body, so does the environment. Living on the east coast in New England, you can bet we experience some chilly and dark times in the winter. Every year since I was diagnosed I have noticed a shift in how I feel. I am much more sensitive to foods in the winter and generally do not feel well. Many times I have tested this by retreating to Florida or an island. Are you surprised to learn that I immediately felt better? I could tolerate more foods, had more energy and fewer symptoms. The connection to warmth and vitamin D is a strong one for me.

What’s Next?

I am very hopeful that a cure for Crohn’s will be discovered. There is a lot of promising research going on. For now, I am armed with the best type of medicine there is, wholesome nutrient-dense food!

Hippocrates had it right!

alternative medicine

Alexa Federico is a 22-year-old born and raised just north of Boston, Massachusetts. She is an avid reader and green tea drinker. She blogs at Girl in Healing, where she creates belly-friendly recipes and shares her life experiences of living with Crohn’s disease, a form of Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBD), which there is currently no cure for. You can follow Alexa on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Pinterest.

Top Ten Budget Crystals

budget crystals

Budget Crystals

Budget crystals – are they worth it?

Yes! Crystal healing needn’t be an expensive hobby. There are many, many beautiful and expensive stones, but you can great results with a collection worth less than £20.

Here are my favourite budget crystals, and where I source them from.

Where to Source Stones

Obviously, you should be looking for ethical companies to stones from. But here are some tips to getting cheaper crystals.

  • Buy from museums or science shops. I went to a bunch of jewelry and science stalls when I was in Germany, and got crystals half the price they are in the metaphysical shops. A crystal is a crystal is a crystal. Yes, there are some shapes that are better for a certain purpose than others, but a raw or tumbled stone will serve you just fine.
  • Secondhand stones are perfectly fine. You should be cleansing any stone that comes into your life anyway, so don’t feel odd about buying them secondhand.
  • Check out jewelry shops – sometimes they sell of old stock that has gone out out of fashion, but are still perfectly usable. You can also get carved or shaped stones cheaper than in other stores too.

But which ones should you buy? Here are my Top Ten Budget Crystals…

(Links in this post may be affiliate links.)


Rose Quartz

Buy here: £2.10
Rose Quartz Chunk Approx 2 inches by Geofossils

If I had to pick a favorite stone, it would be Rose Quartz all the way. I just love it.

Rose Quartz is the best emotional healer available, and works in conjunction with just about any other stone.

It promotes love of all kinds – self-love, friendship, family, and romance. Rose Quartz  helps ease the pain of abuse and sexual trauma. Healing heartbreak, it is a gentle stone that is suitable for jewelry and other forms of daily use.

You can also use it to ease tension in a room, and give a calm loving atmosphere.

If you suffer from headaches or migraines this not only eases the symptoms, but can help prevent attacks.

It can help reduce the symptoms and effects of degenerative mental conditions like dementia, Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s, and also helps you recover from addictions of all kinds.

Physically, it heals the heart, lungs, chest, and eases burns and blistering.


Buy Here: £1.05
Amethyst Tumble Stone (20-25mm) Single Stone

Amethyst is a Master Healer, yes, but also one of the most common elements on Earth, so if you’re asked to pay large sums for small stones, some bugger saw you coming.

Being a Master Healer, there isn’t much Amethyst can’t do, but it does have specialties where it’s powers are amplified.

It helps sobriety of all kinds, healing addictions and self destructive behaviors. Amethyst also helps the memory, and improves neural links, making you sharper and cleverer, also easing the symptoms of memory related disorders.


Buy it Here: £2.75

Clear Quartz Crystal Natural Rough Point
Another Master Healer, this one specialising in burns, radiation and chemotherapy side effects and other similar ailments. It de-toxifies the body and brings the organs into balance.

Quartz is good for diagnosing illnesses and indicating where energy blockages and disease lie in the body and aura field.

Blue Apatite

Buy It Here: £3.90

Tumbled Blue Apatite Tumble Stone
Apatite is a balancing and calming stone, making it great to ease emotional overload associated with autism, ADHD, panic disorders and similar conditions.

It is also useful for bones, cartilage and teeth, and disorders within those areas of the body, including motor skills and exhaustion.

Black Tourmaline

Buy it here: £2.90
Rough Black Tourmaline Crystal Chunk For Grounding, Protection & Obsorbing Negativity and Pollution Approx 1.5cm – Free Postage

Black Tourmaline is great for chronic and/or terminal diseases and conditions, especially good for pain relief, and conditions related to the lungs and immune system.

Also useful for arthritis, hand-eye coordination and back pain.

Tiger’s Eye

Buy it here: £1.07
Tiger Eye Tumblestones – Medium

Tiger’s Eye is great for mental illness, and deals with issues of self-worth, self-doubt and blocked emotions. It encourages the correct use of power and assertion.

Red Jasper

Buy it here: £1.08

Red Jasper Tumble Stone (20-25mm) Single Stone

Red Jasper is another good one for chronic conditions and the isolation therein, but is great for fevers, cleaning the blood and liver, and protecting against electromagnetic and geopathic stress.

Green Aventurine

Buy it here: £1.85
Tumbled Green Aventurine Tumble Stone

Green Aventurine is a great all around healer, good at balancing most aspects of the body.

Particular illnesses and conditions eased by Green Aventurine include migraines, stuttering and other speech impediments, high cholesterol, acne and intrusive negative thoughts.


Buy it here: £1.10
Carnelian Tumble Stone (Brazilian) (20-25mm) Single Stone

Usually known as the business success stone, Carnelian has many healing properties as well.

Specifically it’s good for nosebleeds, wounds, ovaries and the womb, depression, neuralgia and helps the absorption of vitamins and minerals.


Buy It Here: £1.07
Sodalite Tumble Stone (20-25mm) Single Stone

Sodalite is good for balancing the shadow with the light, and so it great for hypochondria, panic disorders, depression and anger issues.

It also works on the throat and vocal chords, can lower blood pressure and increases the absorption of fluid.


What I’ve give you here are just a few properties of each crystal, and specifically just a few for crystal healing. Add the witchcraft uses for crystals, and you can do anything you want with these ten budget crystals.

This is a perfect basic toolkit, and also a good gift for the budding healer in the family.

But which budget crystals are your favourite? Let me know in the comments!

(You can subscribe to my email list here, and visit my Etsy shop here, or check my services pages for more from me.)

What Is Crystal Healing?


crystal healing

What Is Crystal Healing?

Crystal Healing or Therapy is, put simply, creating a physical change in the body by using crystals/minerals/gems/sparkly stones.


Crystal Healing has been around since the year dot, probably ever since a human found a shiny thing and carried it around, gaining a particular effects as they did so.


The limits of crystal healing are being pushed and explored constantly. You can also, of course, use crystal to do magic with, but that’s a topic for later.

How to Use Crystals


  • Meditative


The first step to working with any crystal. Simply sitting with the stone and asking a particular thing of it is the simplest, clearest and easiest form of crystal healing. This is sometimes called ‘programming’ a stone, but to be more correct you’re actually asking a favour of it. Crystals are a higher life form than us, so thinking you can tell it to do something it doesn’t do is a fool’s errand.


Sitting and ‘talking’ to the crystal is also the next step up from working solely with books. Books are a great starting point, especially for identifying crystals, but every crystal is different, even ones of the same type. Let the crystal tell you what it does.


When you work with more than one crystal, let the crystals tell you if they are going to play nicely or not. Some cancel each other out, some pollute the purpose, and some overpower each other.


Once you’ve selected a crystal to work with, you can either lay it over the afflicted area, or utilize some form of energy centers or energy line system, like chakras or reflexology. You can also dowse for the right spot to lay it using a pendulum. I’ll post of video of how you can do that at a later date.


  • Directing Energy


Everything in the world has and emits a thing we’ll call ‘energy’ for simplicity’s sake. It’s not precise to label an energy as good or bad – bad to who? But there are times where the energy of a thing or a place isn’t the kind of energy you’d like to cultivate.


You can use crystals and crystal grids to redirect and change the energy of the space, including helping the Earth to heal. Energetic problems can range from angry spirits, to geopathic stress, to pollution, to miasma, to a ton of other things. We’ll cover this more deeply in a later post.


  • Jewelry

Jewelry is a great way to utilize crystal healing. You can get many, many, beautiful jewelry items containing all sorts of crystals which you can wear when you need to healing, but can’t sit down for a healing session, or have a chronic condition which would benefit for more intensive use of crystals.


  • Crystal Grids

We’ll cover crystal grids in more detail in another post, as whole books have been written on the subject.


Basically, arranging crystals in certain formations amplifies and blends their power, creating more powerful and complex effects.

  • Distance Healing


You can use crystals on a poppet or other representation of a person to effect healing from a distance. If you’re interested in distance healing, please check out my distance healing services.

(You can subscribe to my email list here, and visit my Etsy shop here, or check my services pages for more from me.)

Sleep Paralysis – My Experiences with Sleep Paralysis

sleep paralysis

Sleep Paralysis

Sleep paralysis is an experience that most of us have had at least once, though some people have it more often. It’s one of the most terrifying experiences you’ll have in your life, but, except in rare cases, it’s completely harmless. If you have other sleep problems as well as sleep paralysis, I would recommend you see your GP as you may have some form of narcolepsy, but otherwise you’re safe.

What is Sleep Paralysis?

Does this picture ring a bell?

sleep paralysis

It’s called ‘The Nightmare’ and it’s by Henry Fuseli. Usually said to be a picture of an incubus, demon or average nightmare, it actually describes the symptoms of sleep paralysis really well. St Patrick also used to suffer from it, but attributed it, like most historical cases of sleep paralysis, to demons.

Sleep paralysis happens when the mind wakes up before the body does. You will be paralyzed for a few minutes, usually feel something crushing your chest and if you’re unlucky enough to have opened your eyes, vivid and excruciating hallucinations.

Symptoms of Sleep Paralysis

Other symptoms include breathlessness and symptoms not unlike that of an out-of-body experience, falling out or up of your body, your limbs being lifted up or forced downwards. Hallucinations are, as always, tailored to the particular sufferer, but almost always include one or more of the following:

  • thinking you are being attacked by some sort of spirit/god/demon/etc – this happens less if you’re atheist, of course, I’ve also been convinced I was being strangled by a burglar before. I would imagine that’s the form they would take for a committed atheist, but your mileage may vary.
  • being utterly convinced you are going to die. Like, seriously, this is the worst.
  • something physical on your chest
  • being watched and tormented by something or someone, or sense that something is coming to get you and will get you before you can move.

In my case, they are almost always preceded by a series of lucid nightmares. Yep, lucid nightmares. I am acutely aware of what is happening to me, I can control my own actions, and I am aware that I am dreaming. No matter what I’ve done, I struggle to wake myself up, and I usually wake up to an episode of sleep paralysis. Next time it happens I’m gonna try calming down, because usually as soon I work out that I’m lucid, I panic, because I know what happens. I think I’ve tried this before to no avail, but here goes nothing.

What Not To Do During An Episode

  • panic. You will be able to move again, you can breathe even though it doesn’t feel like it. The knowledge that you’ve just gained about this being a normal and natural bodily function will make them less scary, I promise.
  • open your eyes. Do not open your eyes first thing, even though they will be the first thing you can move. In fact, I recommend you don’t open your eyes until you can physically get out of bed and put the light on.
  • go back to sleep. You must get out of bed, use the toilet or get a drink if you need to, and then do something to occupy your mind for at least half an hour. Or until you are no longer sleepy. I don’t know why, but after the paralysis ends you are mega sleepy, and if you go back to sleep you WILL have another episode. Get up.

How to Cope During an Episode

As well as the tips above, use these:

  • Concentrate on wiggling your toes and fingers FIRST. Not your eyes. As soon as you can move your fingers and feet you should feel the other symptoms recede.
  • Get out of bed and walk around.
  • Speak, as soon as you can. Doesn’t have to be loud, but I’m always frightened most by not being able to talk or scream during an episode.
  • If you’re struggling to move, try and kick your bedsheets off, but don’t panic if you get tangled. Work on sitting up and pulling off the bedsheets with your hands.

Preventing an Attack

  • Make sure you’re getting enough sleep.
  • Somehow sleeping on your back causes attacks. Not sure why, just does.
  • Avoid lucid dreaming workings. What triggers attacks differs from person to person – there’s only one meditation/dreaming exercise that doesn’t set off attacks for me personally, and if at anytime I try and change a dream beyond the ‘ooh look I’m having a dream about my favourite TV show, wouldn’t it be cool if character A did this’, that will cause an episode.
  • There is a specific technique to cause lucid dreaming that I believe is called the WILD or WILDS technique that has been known to cause sleep paralysis in those that don’t normally get it, so steer clear of that.
  • In fact, any out of body techniques that you are meant to do when you are asleep, on the edge of sleep or lying on your bed when you might fall asleep whether you intend to or not, are best avoided.
  • Go to sleep at the same time each night if you can. Anything that can disturb sleep and not wake you up properly can cause sleep paralysis. Something as simple as having music instead of a beeping alarm can cause it for me – the music doesn’t startle me awake like the beeping, I just notice there being something ‘wrong’ in my sleeping environment and wake up wrong.

I hope this helps, if you have any questions, let me know and I will try and answer them.

(Want more? You can subscribe to my email list here, and visit my Etsy shop here, or check my services pages for more from me. If you’d like to help support me, please consider becoming a Patron! You get all kinds of cool things for doing so.)